Love thy self

 

Dear diary, it sucks; it really sucks. There are some things that have been going on in the black community, that needs to be more addressed. It's our hair, specifically about 4c hair. 

Growing up black, I knew that my hair would be different. And since its so different, to me, I thought there were only so many things I could do with my hair (Which was a lie, it could do plenty). I was always envious; dare I even say jealous of people with looser curls. It looked so beautiful, the way their curls would hang; the definition, it looked easier to do. The way they could effortlessly put their hair into a messy bun and it'd look cute. And if they'd take it down, it falls beautifully to their shoulders. If I did the same, mine would stay in the air; still in its place from my puff, lol. 

Wait, this made me remember my 2nd grade "puff"tail incident. I remember that my ponytail holder broke (I think it broke during recess), I was steady holding my puff, I did NOT want to let go. When telling my teacher (puff still in hand), I asked if she had a hair band. Instead of telling me she didn't have one, she asked me to let go of my hair. Mind you, the class was pin drop silent, and everyone was looking my way. I'm a shy and easily embarrassed person and as a little girl, amplify that by like 50%. I didn't want to, yet she kept insisting. I let go and my hair did what It did, stayed right up in the air. I wanted to sink into the carpet. After she embarrassed me, THEN did she allow me to go find a teacher to give me one. Thankfully, there was another teacher that so happened to be in the hallway as soon as I closed the door behind me; she gave me a rubber band. May God or whoever/whatever she believes in continues to bless her. (Or continue to just bless herself.)

I already knew little about my hair, so I couldn't properly take care of it (and I'm still learning). 

My mom, grandma or her best friend since childhood would do my hair, always in braids with colorful barrettes and beads. It's common for a lot of black girlies to have bins of greasy hair products with blue magic, curl creams, tons of beads and combs. Me and my twin looked a lot like these babies growing up.

But this roots back to racism, everybody knows this though. Since forever, we have been bashed about our looks as black people. White people calling us everything but beautiful. They would say our hair was like "wool" and our skin "dirty". And the darker the pigment, the worse it got. There would also be subtle hints in tv shows and movies, that being "lighter" would represent femininity whilst being "darker" were more masculine. But let's keep it about hair.

A lot of this insecurity with 4c hair has been passed down. Mothers and fathers teaching their kids to hate their hair the same way they did. Manipulating their hair to look more looser than it was (...ahem, I'm looking at you, relaxers.)

If you search up styles on TikTok or Pinterest, you're either given braids, gel styles or a bunch of pictures that aren't type 4c. Believe it or not, some black people don't believe in hairstyles that aren't that. I saw on TikTok a few days ago, where a women claimed it wasn't hard to do black hair. All she did was put some leave in product in and wore it in a fro. The comments had different opinions; some claimed it wasn't a style. 

Disclaimer: A fro is indeed a style! Not everything needs to be laid. And yes. an afro is and definitely would be acceptable to wear outside, it is professional and it is beautiful. 

But let's keep it a buck, curly hair can be a struggle to do; and yes, it can take time. But I think there's beauty in that. Taking care of you aka taking care of your hair is a form of self-care. Taking some time to wash and tend to your scalp is soothing when you aren't rushing or pulling. Take the time to learn your hair, your porosity, what products your hair likes and dislikes. Whether your hair is short, medium or long; thick or thin, its beautiful. 

Let's get it.

-With love 💋