Dear diary, there’s a huge problem with people and empathy.

So many people say they have empathy, but many actually lack it. The evidence is social media and how much people tell on themselves. I remember seeing this video, of a woman messing up and not knowing how the “Hoover dam trend” worked. She had to turn off the comments because people were sending her DEATH threats, and harassing her; all of this over a trend by the way. I think people are forgetting that everything is literally NOT that serious, ESPECIALLY trends like this. How can a person get so pissed from them doing some social media trend incorrectly, how? People are slowly making other  people scared of making mistakes online. (I’m looking at you “Love Island”, but that’s a discussion for another time.) The “butthurts” still could’ve gotten their point across by telling them how to do it properly instead. But no, people love to feel like the big bad wolf. How would they feel if they were in her shoes; not knowing much of a TikTok trend and getting hated for it? People really are bored.

 The saying “Treat someone how you’d want to be treated” was popularized for a reason; but how is it still somehow not always acted upon? People have gotten way too comfortable twiddling their fat ass thumbs and bullying people on the internet. 

Before you leave, make sure to empathize with someone today, that’s homework. Show some empathy!

I read online from someone that “Lack of literacy is directly leading to a lack of empathy.” Which I fully agree with, people aren’t reading from other narratives and/or perspectives. 

- With love 💋 

What success is to me

  

Dear diary, what is success?

By book, success means “Achieving a desired goal, positive result or favorable outcome.”

To me, I’m fine with decency, I think. I’m fine with not being “rich”, (most of us have to be.) As long as I can afford the things I want and NEED comfortably, I’m cool. To have a job that I love and loves me back, a family I can always count on and vice versa, eating healthily and taking care of my body and mind, that’s my type of success. But even then, there’s more.

As humans, we’ve defined success as to having riches, usually. 

I mean yeah, riches can bring in a lot for a person, but what about without that and without all the social constructs?

 This is also why I wish money never existed, I know it creates demand, and helps with amounts received etc, but I hate how much we have to depend on it. I wish earth as a whole was one. A community, in which we would ALL prosper. That, to me, would be the ultimate idea of success; and one that will last a life time.

But the meaning of success is different for everyone, and of course, that’s okay too.

- With love 💋 

“Hi, welcome to _______!”

 

Dear diary, it took me some thinking to realize that maybe being jobless wasn’t better for me, lol. 

I recently got hired at a bakery and it was all very new to me. No, it’s not my first job, but it’s my first time really handling food in a “company” setting (and I guess I could kind of say customer service too.)

I’m a very socially awkward person, I’ve said so many times in my blogs. Me and social interactions don’t often mix. I’m a very quiet person when it comes to talking in person with individuals I don’t know a lot. It’s worse when I greet them and they don’t hear me/don’t respond. During my shifts, people couldn’t hear me good even though I’d think I was talking pretty loud, which is really bad. For some reason, those interactions felt out of body, like I wasn’t myself (because I wasn’t) and I rarely put myself into these situations (like I shouldn’t be doing this), yet here I am. 

I just want to keep this job, and I want to be better. I’d try to get comfortable by telling myself it’s like working in roblox, lol (You know those Roblox restaurants/groups like frappe or verde café or something; the ones that boomed during COVID and that whole era of “no caps” and stuff. ) or like, papas bakeria. I tell myself to try to fake it and pretend like they’re even family. 

Moral of the story, I try my best to be my best because I have no choice. In order for me to succeed and get the things I desire, I have to put myself in uncomfortable situations sometimes or in other words “get out of my comfort zone.” I thrive to be like people who have amazing customer service without thinking much about what to say, and it looks so easy. I just hate fuc*ing up on the Job, especially since customer service is everything. 

On the topic of fuc*ing up. I hate being new to a job. I feel like I’m just in the way. I know it’s not totally my fault because I’m new, but I still just hate messing up. And I don’t think I’m a perfectionist either. I just like being prepared.  I need to learn how to make all the sandwiches (there’s a guide book for that) I know the items in the bakery but I don’t know how to make every single coffee order and it doesn’t help that there’s like no guide book on that. This makes me really wish there was like some online training videos, because I’m a visual learner. 

The only thing that makes me feel a little better is knowing the fact that they hired me, meaning they have some form of faith in me, right? So, I need to try to have faith in myself. I know that I am really going to grow with this job, it’s making me challenge the things I think are challenging all at once.

One thing I know for sure is that it’s going to really be something once I update my resume, lol. 

- With love 💋 

Lack of engagement and coming back to reality

Dear diary, I’ve come to a realization that I need serious help. 

I’ve been around, have known and used social media for my entire life. I enjoy checking in on people, seeing what they’re up to, what’s going on in the world and of course, posting my on little stuff. But at some point, it becomes unhealthy for me. I spend most of my time scrolling and finding something to post (which isn’t surprising). I find myself getting carried away. 

If you didn’t know already, I’m a bit insecure (not sure I’ll ever have a “cure” for it), it comes with the territory. So, posting on social media can kind of be a big thing for me. So much so, that I’ve been caring about people’s engagement with my posts. I decided a long time ago, that the amount of likes and comments determine my worth or if someone likes me or not. This even extends to peers close to me, which is a damn shame. 

But I’ve recently tried taking a step back, and reflected on it a bit (also thanks to outside resources.) Meaning, I need to take a break from seeking validation from the outside. I shouldn’t give a damn if “Tracy” or “Stacy” didn’t like my new posts, doesn’t mean they absolutely hate my guts, right? Either way, it’s a problem, and one way or another, it needs to be solved. And it will; one day at a time.

- With love 💋 

New braids who dis?

 

Dear diary, I got my hair done!

I finally got my hair done after keeping it natural for 3 months. I kept it plain this time, I usually do color. I’m glad it’s done though, so I won’t have to worry about styling it everyday. I’m in the process of learning how to do my own hair and getting the tools necessary; my goal is to learn how to cornrow before 2027, hopefully I make myself proud. 

My dream humble abode

Dear diary, God knew not to make me rich.

 

My dream home consists of a bunch of natural lighting, greenery, airy environments whilst, keeping a warm autumn-y like feel. The people yearn for nature, despite living how we live now. How I envision this home, is that when you walk in, you’re hit with the smell of pure freshness from outdoors, clean linen and maybe a hint of vanilla somewhere, lol.

I want my space to feel like home, not the celebrity go to of a disgustingly all white insane asylum. I need color, I need warmth to call it my own. This is the type of place I’d love for my family to have gatherings and reunions at with a beautiful back yard. 

Speaking of back yard, it’ll be a hell no to HOA policies, by the way. I’d love to stay where I can keep the plants growing and flourishing. I dream of growing a garden, with fresh fruits a vegetables, maybe even a little bakery to sell goods for my neighbors and such. All of this is only if seeds continue to be up for purchase, assuming I’m financially sufficient by then. With this house, to me, comes community. This would be my wealth. 

-With love 💋 

 

Dear diary, I had a TIMEEEE!!

Yesterday, I went to Bryson Tillers “NeoTrapSoul” concert in ATL, and I had a blast. He played a lot of his hits which got me hyped asf! This was actually my very first concert (ever!), so I’m glad it’s was Brysons. Anyways, here’s a clip.