“Hi, welcome to _______!”

 

Dear diary, it took me some thinking to realize that maybe being jobless wasn’t better for me, lol. 

I recently got hired at a bakery and it was all very new to me. No, it’s not my first job, but it’s my first time really handling food in a “company” setting (and I guess I could kind of say customer service too.)

I’m a very socially awkward person, I’ve said so many times in my blogs. Me and social interactions don’t often mix. I’m a very quiet person when it comes to talking in person with individuals I don’t know a lot. It’s worse when I greet them and they don’t hear me/don’t respond. During my shifts, people couldn’t hear me good even though I’d think I was talking pretty loud, which is really bad. For some reason, those interactions felt out of body, like I wasn’t myself (because I wasn’t) and I rarely put myself into these situations (like I shouldn’t be doing this), yet here I am. 

I just want to keep this job, and I want to be better. I’d try to get comfortable by telling myself it’s like working in roblox, lol (You know those Roblox restaurants/groups like frappe or verde café or something; the ones that boomed during COVID and that whole era of “no caps” and stuff. ) or like, papas bakeria. I tell myself to try to fake it and pretend like they’re even family. 

Moral of the story, I try my best to be my best because I have no choice. In order for me to succeed and get the things I desire, I have to put myself in uncomfortable situations sometimes or in other words “get out of my comfort zone.” I thrive to be like people who have amazing customer service without thinking much about what to say, and it looks so easy. I just hate fuc*ing up on the Job, especially since customer service is everything. 

On the topic of fuc*ing up. I hate being new to a job. I feel like I’m just in the way. I know it’s not totally my fault because I’m new, but I still just hate messing up. And I don’t think I’m a perfectionist either. I just like being prepared.  I need to learn how to make all the sandwiches (there’s a guide book for that) I know the items in the bakery but I don’t know how to make every single coffee order and it doesn’t help that there’s like no guide book on that. This makes me really wish there was like some online training videos, because I’m a visual learner. 

The only thing that makes me feel a little better is knowing the fact that they hired me, meaning they have some form of faith in me, right? So, I need to try to have faith in myself. I know that I am really going to grow with this job, it’s making me challenge the things I think are challenging all at once.

One thing I know for sure is that it’s going to really be something once I update my resume, lol. 

- With love 💋